


What it Means to be a Hero

by laurel_wesley (Wes)



Series: What it Means to be a Hero [1]
Category: Pacific Rim (Movies), Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Filipino Hunk (Voltron), Japanese Shiro (Voltron), Korean Keith (Voltron), Mexican Lance (Voltron), Mild Blood, Mild Language, Mild OoC, Minor Original Character(s), Not Really Character Death, POV Keith (Voltron), Pacific Rim AU, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-30
Updated: 2018-11-30
Packaged: 2019-09-02 16:48:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 20,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16790854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wes/pseuds/laurel_wesley
Summary: (Add. Tags: The Drift is strong in this one boyz, god I hope I wrote this well, dialogue sounds great but is it reeeeeeally in character?, I cheated writing every language other than english, I don't even know the basics like curse words I'm such a phony, I swear Allura's not a bitch and Keith isn't an irredeemable asshole, I'm sorry honestly, I love Lance and Hunk ok, this story just leant itself to being Keith-centric, he isn't even my favorite character christ, also I did a bit of research and suspent some disbelief but please actually tell me if there's anything glaringly wrong about something I wrote.)The year is 2028. Fifteen years ago, a monster emerged from the ocean and devastated the Philippines; at first, we were content to move on, but when attacks became more frequent, we got the message. To fight the Kaiju, the world pooled it’s resources across nations, shoved aside wars and rivalries, and created paladins to defend the coastal cities under attack. My name is Keith Kogane, and I’m the pilot of a Jaeger.





	1. Wake Up and Smell the Roses

**Author's Note:**

> So I started writing this at the beginning of the year when I watched PacRim for the first time, fell in love with it (the second movie was fun but the first will Always Be THE BEST) and decided I wanted to get a Gypsy Danger tattoo. Eight months later I'm here with not tattoo and a half-finished fanfic LOL Wow time flies LOL I don't know how long it'll take me between updates but I'm having a lot of fun with this! Honestly if I need insp I'll just rewatch the first movie and the first like three seasons of Voltron haha As I go I'll add more tags probably, for the moment I couldn't really think of a lot of them because Voltron PacRim AU is pretty self-explanatory lol 
> 
> Also dead because Keith isn't even my fav character, it's Lance lmfao oooo Shiro's my husb, Allura's my GF, and Lance and Hunk are my sons, yet every time I write something for Voltron I'm like "this time it'll be Hance/Kallura and Shiro-centric!" and then Keith and Klance take the spotlight LOL Not that there's anything wrong with that, it's just like wow, maybe I'm denying a part of myself lmao. That being said, I don't intend on adding any ships in this other than friendships, but god damn did I write some gay shit. That's my trademark tbh.
> 
> Additionally, if this sounds exactly like the first movie, it's probably because I started writing this after watching it four times over in as many days. I love PacRim so much it's one of my fav movies honestly, and I just thought it fit so well with Voltron and the characters... But mostly because a lot of the situations like Yancy dying, and Mako's charged history with the Kaiju, and Pentacost solo-piloting a Jaeger, all of them just fit really really well into how I imagine Voltron characters fitting into this universe. Idk if that makes any sense, but I could just envision them in those scenarios really easily.
> 
> Also the title is based off Yuuki Yuuna is a Hero in a slight way: they sound similar, and I really like how the final season of the anime, Yuusha Shou is like YuYuYu: Hero Chapter haha I have two more stories planned for this series so hopefully I'll finish it all next year, so I hope you enjoy the ride as much as I enjoy writing it ^^ Let that 30K words in six days good vibes be prevalent into the new yearrrr

The alarms blared, waking Keith abruptly. The voice over the intercom was too blurry for him to catch. He rubbed at his eyes and sat up, running a hand through his messy hair.

“Sh’ro?” he mumbled out. In a vague attempt to locate his partner he blinked around the room.

 _“Repeat: Crimson Nova, report to the docking bay ten minutes ago,”_ Shiro answered.

No, that was the intercom. Keith groaned and checked his clock, noting that Kaijus needed to wait until he’d had at least seven hours of sleep, not three, and needed to attack after eight in the morning, not at two-thirty AM like they loved to.

Crawling out of bed, he quickly changed out of his pajamas to standard uniform, the fitted black jumpsuit given to all recruits. Over he tugged on black army pants, blousing his boots, and the Crimson Nova sports jacket her pilots had received upon joining the fleet. At the age of 18 he’d had nowhere to go and joined up with little choice; being from South Korea, he’d been shoved into it when he came of age and had been fighting since. About a year after, when South and North Korea finally reunited and branched out, they’d created the Coastal Asian Defense Fleet under the PPCD, consisting of coastal cities and islands like Japan, Thailand, and Korea with large backing from China and many other smaller nations. Now the fleet was more than 100,000 strong, with a powerful selection of Jaegers at it’s disposal, and Crimson Nova was one of the best.

As Keith was downing a cup of black coffee, Shiro emerged from the tiny bathroom attached to their quarters. He looked freshly shaved and showered, with too much of a summer glow for Keith’s liking. He was always like that, a natural leader that exuded positivity, but that’s why he was such a good captain.

“Morning, Sunshine,” he greeted. Keith inclined his head in response and offered the mug, which Shiro waved off.

“No time. Chug it and then let’s get suited up.”

“Got it.” 

While Keith downed the last of his coffee, Shiro finished getting ready. When they were both fitted in their jackets they took their exit and started heading towards the docking bay. It was a quick waltz down the halls, and though various officers and maintenance crew were bustling around, the area was clear for Crimson Nova’s pilots to make their way to the conn pod of their Jaeger to be suited up. On the base when pilots were called, there was always an urgency to it, and the paths were always cleared quickly; it became a thing that traffic was monitored by white duct tape on the floor, marking in-out-pilot-crew traffic that was followed strictly.

Keith and Shiro took their steps in sync. When the CADF was first created, there had been a big struggle to find Jaeger pilots that were drift compatible. The few that were already working together stayed paired up, but the new recruits needed partners, and Keith and Shiro had been selected to work together. At first Keith had just considered it some inconvenience; he kept his head down, and though he had his rebellious streak he mostly kept to himself, while Shiro was Mr. Popular, the leader everyone wanted to co-pilot for, his polar opposite. And when they were paired, when they’d gone through their first training regimens together and eventually drifted for the first time, Keith couldn’t have been more glad that he was wrong. He realized he couldn’t have been more compatible.

“You’re spacing again,” Shiro called him back to reality, slapping his shoulder. Keith jolted and glanced up, returning Shiro’s smile with a shake of his head. The entered the ‘locker room’ outside the pod, where technicians were moving around and preparing Nova’s red and black drivesuits for them.

“Just tired. Wish those damn Kaiju would let us get some well-earned rest.” He lifted his arms so the crew bustling around him could slip his drivesuit on. He dropped his arms after they’d adjusted the back and chest plates, and allowed himself to settle into it. Next came the spine segment, before they would hand over the helmets and strap them into Crimson Nova’s conn pod.

They were quiet through most of it, already knowing what the other wanted to say. They’d spent three years together piloting Nova, spent so many hours in each other’s heads they didn’t need to speak half the time. Their movements were almost completely synced too, less of a conscious thought and more out of habit, especially when they were fully strapped into the driver interface.

While their helmets were draining, the crew attached various wires, levers and latches onto them. As soon as they were done they zipped out of the conn pod, locking the exit door and leaving Shiro and Keith alone.

“Crimson Nova prepared to launch. Initiating neural handshake. Entering the Drift now,” their communications officer reported. That was always the last thing they heard before drifting. 

Memories flew by Keith as he and Shiro were dragged in. His childhood, his parents, what they wanted of him, what happened when he didn’t fulfill their desires. The marks on his hands from where his father had hit him with rulers and sticks if he didn’t get a good enough score, the silence over dinners, the pictures of his grandfather in the military. His memories blended with Shiro’s, who grew up with a single father and too much debt. Moving around all his life to escape it, until he’d eventually been left with his mother’s parents and never saw his dad again. Their high-school lives were mostly the same, just struggling to make it into good colleges, the two people Shiro had dated, Keith joining the military under the former dictator’s orders, meeting each other, training, up to the moment they’d entered Crimson Nova and suddenly they were snapped back to reality, recoiling with the force of exiting the Drift. They righted themselves, standing straight as they felt the entirety of Nova surrounding them. 

“Left and right brains calibrated, handshake successful. Welcome aboard, gentlemen,” their communications officer’s voice echoed again.

“Good morning, Matt,” Shiro greeted.

“Morning!” he chirped right back. Keith wasn’t fooled, he could practically hear the energy drinks buzzing in his voice.

“Morning to you too, Holt. You up late doing homework again?” Keith asked, flipping a few of the switches to toggle his monitor. He and Shiro reached for the main controls on the console abovetheir heads and pressed the eight corresponding buttons to engage the drop.

“Hey, I gotta help Katie when dad’s not home, that’s just how it is. Engaging drop,” Matt reported the last part to someone behind him, his voice coming out muffled. A few more muffled voices reported back to him, then suddenly there was a jerk and they were sliding down the elevator shaft to the rest of Nova’s body. Keith could always feel the drop in his gut, grunting when they hit the ‘bottom’ and started turning.

Some more reporting blared over the intercoms, but Keith and Shiro were too busy engaging main forward sight and integrating Nova’s head fully into her body. Quickly they reached 100% connectivity, allowing them to do their simple test run: clenching Nova’s fists by her sides, then bringing them up in front of her face before saluting with one hand. Most Jaeger pilots saluted as a test run, but adding the extra arms got them a little more settled in.

“So what’s our target today?” Shiro asked while Nova was brought out to the Shatterdome’s landing pad and hooked up to the waiting helicarriers. 

“It’s a new one, we’re calling it the first ever Category 4, codenamed Shredder. Emerged about 30 minutes ago and should make it to our radar within the hour. We’re dropping you just off the coast of Vietnam so you better not let it get to any of the cities.”

“Stay out of the shallows, right. Hey, Matt, why’s your dad not running logistics today?”

“You didn’t hear? He flew to California just a few hours ago to do some research there. I’m still stationed here for about a week longer before I head back to Canada.”

“Hah, good for him,” Keith added, ignoring the snarky look Shiro shot him. “His Japanese was terrible anyway.”

Matt laughed over the intercom. “Stay focused, Nova. We didn’t deem it too much of a threat since it’s not moving fast, so you’ll be alone out there, but it is a new category. Stay on your toes, we’ll send backup if you need it.

“You got it. Anything else about it we should know about it?” Shiro asked.

“We know as much as you do. I swear I’m working on updating the systems,” Matt said.

“You’re doing amazing sweetie,” Shiro said with a little laugh at his own meme, resituating his arm in it’s holster.

Mat hesitated for a moment, then said. “What I can say is that it’s almost 80 tons heavier than a category 3, and it’s marker is a lot larger in size. I don’t know what it’s coming equipped with so it could be rough.”

“Seems like it would be a good idea to have reinforcements then.”

“Yeah… Sounded better in the briefing when they said you’d be able to handle it.”

“Have Miracle and Trooper on deck, and get them ready to mobilize if we seem like we’re in too much trouble. We’ll do our best to hold if off at that point.”

“Sounds good.”

While Matt notified the marshal on deck, Shiro turned to Keith, who had been chewing his lip while he listened. The first ever category 4… Every new category was separated by size, and he supposed there was a large enough jump between this Kaiju and the last one that had surfaced to have a new class. If it was anything like the last ones, all they’d have to worry about was size overpowering them. But if it came equipped with new weapons or defense mechanisms…

“Hey.”

“Huh—what?” Keith looked up at Shiro abruptly.

“Don’t worry about it. We’ve got two Jaegers on deck to back us, if worse comes to worst we just have to hold it off as long as we can.” Shiro had uncuffed his other hand to rest it on Keith’s shoulder. Keith could feel his actions in the Drift even before he made them, but it was still comforting to have a physical point of contact.

“Yeah. It’s probably nothing we can’t handle anyway,” Keith answered with a sigh.

“That’s the spirit.”

“Can’t get distracted. Let’s do this.”

“1000 meters to drop zone, get comfortable boys,” Matt reported.

Keith let himself settle back into the Drift, to feel Shiro in his head and next to him, and to realign with Nova. By the time he’d finished, they were 100 meters to the drop and closing in quickly. Readying himself for it, he was jolted around by the cables releasing, and then the sudden impact of the water and ground under Nova’s feet. It had become something of a comfort to be in a Jaeger, to feel the resistance of water around Nova’s legs as he and Shiro piloted her towards Shredder’s predicted surfacing point. While it was terrifying to be up against monstrous beings like Kaijus, what with their many tearing claws and many shredding teeth, sometimes more and sometimes less, at least in a Jaeger they could _fight back._ At least in a Jaeger they had thousands of tons of metal separating them from certain death.

As they approached the edge of the coastal shallows where Nova was almost knee deep in water, Matt’s voice chimed over the intercom. A surge of adrenaline shot through the Drift and they were suddenly on high alert, floodlights scanning the water’s surface.

“I’m not seeing it—“

“Nova! Behind you!”

An impact slammed them from behind. Nova creaked and her pilots grunted as they lurched forwards, barely catching her before they dropped below the water’s surface. Nova reared up, bracing against the Kaiju squirming against her back and reached up to try and grab it. Finding a horn and using that for leverage, she wrestled Shredder off and slammed it into the water in front of her.

“Keith, deploy sword!” Shiro yelled. Keith was already pressing the button.

The chain-linked sword deployed, acting as a whip for a moment before it pulled together into a solid weapon. Nova raised it above her head and thrust it towards Shredder, getting thrown off balance when it managed to roll onto it’s belly and slither away. Wrapping one of it’s tendril-like legs around Nova’s knee, it tugged as it went past her, this time toppling her for real.

Before her pilots had time to recover Shredder pounced them again. Nova managed to catch it with both hands, the sword piercing through the Kaiju’s upper chest, but that only seemed to aggravate it more. It bared down on her, the increased weight making her joints creak, almost overloaded with the pressure. If he really focused, Keith could feel his own joints aching in time.

“Retract sword, we’re gonna throw it!” Shiro yelled to him.

“Towards the shore?” Keith grunted back, he and Shiro shifting their heads at the same time to avoid a claw to the right side of Nova’s head.

“We’ll get around it again but we need better footing! Come on!”

Keith freed his right arm just long enough to retract Nova’s sword. Instead of strapping back in, he strained his arm to assist Shiro with the throw, using his free hand to activate boosters in Nova’s elbows to give the toss some extra power. Shredder screeched and clawed at Nova’s arms in a last attempt to stay on top of her, only succeeding in ripping at the plating on her forearms and knuckles as it was tossed away from her. It landed with a massive crash, the resulting waves pummeling Nova as she stood. 

“Right sword and booster are damaged, Shiro, don’t know if we can deploy it again,” Keith reported with a huff. They started advancing on the Kaiju again while it stood up and shook itself off; it was focused solely on them and not destroying the city, which was good. More time to evacuate and get to shelters. It roared at them and started charging for another pounce.

“We still got knuckles,” Shiro answered as they guided Nova into a boxing stance, “So we beat it down.”

“I like where your head’s at,” Keith said as the Kaiju jumped towards them.

They just barely stepped out of the way of it’s landing, rounding on it with a solid roundhouse. Shredder returned with a a punch of it’s own, catching Nova just barely across the shoulder as she ducked. The conn pod shook with the impact but the pilots shoved their way through it, grabbing Shredder’s face to land an uppercut to it’s jaw. Nova gave it another punch, and then another, adding another boost to the third with what was left of their fuel. Shredder reared back, gripping down _hard_ on Nova’s shoulder to avoid going flying too far, it’s tendrils wrapping around Nova’s legs and bringing her down again.

Shiro shrieked when Shredder gripped harder, it’s claws tearing through the metal of Nova’s shoulder. The pain that shot through Keith in response nearly threw them both out of alignment but they managed to stay in long enough for Shiro to flip the switch and open coms.

“Matt! Send backup, ASAP! We’re grounded and out of weapons, we don’t have anymore options—“

It all happened so fast. One second Shiro was speaking and the next he was screaming, gripping his right shoulder like it had been torn off. Somewhere behind them Nova’s arm landed in the water. Before they could try and retaliate, _teeth_ were ripping into their Jaeger’s conn pod. Keith struggled to move Nova’s left arm and grab Shredder by the nape of the neck. He tried to pull the Kaiju off but it held fast and shook _hard_.

“Shiro! Shiro, just hold on, backup’s gonna be here in a minute, we’ll be—“

Teeth clamped down. The pod buckled under the pressure and Shiro was caught right in the center of it. Keith could only watch as Shredder pulled back, ripping a chunk of Nova’s head clean off, half of Shiro’s station and _all of Shiro_ gone with it. He hadn’t been disconnected from the Drift yet, so he could only watch through Shiro’s eyes as he was yanked away and _thrown_ towards the city. All the fear, the pain, the surprise, and every little thing in between flooded through Keith as well until Shiro blacked out mid-flight. Did he get to the city? Did he hit the water? Keith didn’t know.

But what he was damn sure of was that he was going to rip Shredder limb from limb to make it pay.

Keith couldn’t tell if it was him or the Kaiju or Shiro or Nova screaming anymore. He felt sluggish piloting a Jaeger alone, but already missing an arm made it easier on him. He punched at Shredder again, once, twice, until it’s teeth broke free, and then he grabbed it by the jaw and yanked back, ripping it off Nova as best he could when she could barely move. If only he still had the sword—no, her arm didn’t fall too far away, maybe he could grab it—

Shredder made an effort to bite down on Nova’s hand. Keith angled her so the top of the Kaiju’s mouth hit her spiked knuckles, and then he shoved back, earning a screech when Shredder was finally knocked off. The tendrils locked around Nova loosened just a little, giving Keith enough room to stand her up and punch Shredder square in the chest. It released Nova and stumbled back, struggling to stand before Keith made it to the sword.

He dove for it, stepping out of another pounce from Shredder as much as he could. The Kaiju still caught Nova’s leg and ripped a gash down her right thigh with it’s claws that Keith shrugged off as best he could. Everything in him felt numb anyway, what was one more pain. Swatting at Shredder with Nova’s detached shoulder, the Kaiju grabbed her arm with it’s teeth and yanked, pulling the arm free at the elbow. Keith grinned to himself at that, uppercutting Shredder while it still had the metal in it’s mouth to lodge some into it’s upper jaw. While it struggled to rip the debris out, Keith managed to shake out what was left of the sword and stabilize it. Just one hit was all he needed. It was all he had.

Shredder roared and charged him again. Keith braced himself with Nova’s good arm, grunting under the increased weight as he was pushed back. The Kaiju gnawed on Nova’s good arm, not being able to find purchase between it’s broken teeth and the metal stilled lodged in it’s mouth, but since it was preoccupied it gave Keith a clean shot. He shoved back as best he could, then stepped forward when Shredder was off-balance and swung down, severing cleaning through one of it’s legs and a tendril along with it. As the Kaiju went down on it’s back, Keith advanced forward and stepped down on it’s chest to hold it in place, then stabbed down through Shredder’s jaw and through it’s head. For good measure he twisted the blade, then continued stabbing and twisting until the couplings snapped and the blade shattered somewhere inside the Kaiju’s mangled skull. With a final grunt Nova collapsed to her knees over Shredder’s corpse, and stayed like that until Miracle and Trooper arrived on the scene. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there's like, two things I hope were easy to infer, I'll try to clarify one next chapter, but the other is that Matt and his dad travel between 'domes as tech assistants, and the main language spoken in the CADF 'dome is English, but because there's a lot of different languages and dialects Keith and Shiro still speak Japanese and Korean to each other. Keith making the remark about Matt's dad is like, he tried to speak Japanese (and probably multiple Chinese dialects as well as other Asian languages, including languages from India since it would also be grouped from this dome) and just struggled lol Props to him for trying tho lol


	2. The Movies Always Start Better

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sure you'll notice I gave everyone surnames. I tried to base them off characteristics or in Shay and Rax's case, something associated with them, so I hope I did okay? I mostly just pulled them off a single site though so if anyone has a better fitting name or translation please suggest it to me! Except for Allura, I know Ulta's a beauty company but the word reminded me of Altea, and Allura Ulta/Alfor Ulta sound like such a posh names I had to keep them. Also I had too much fun naming all the Jaegers. I lowkey spoiled myself on PacRim 2's names looking for inspiration LOL Between Chystal Ignition, Crimson Nova, and Blue Bumble I don't know which one my favorite is haha

_3 Years Later_

Keith opened his eyes and sat up slowly, running a hand through his bedhead. Another day, another dreary morning. The mid-morning sun drifted through the small slit in the curtains, cascading across his room and lighting it in a dim yellow glow. It was already warming up, so without even looking at the clock he figured it was maybe 11, 11:30, or somewhere around that time.

His little desert home was isolated and landlocked in the Gobi desert, the nearest rest stop about four miles off, and the nearest actual town another ten off that. He owned one motorcycle that held enough gas to get him there and back reliably, and as long as someone didn’t cut any tubes while he was parked again he was just fine with that. He had the barest of necessities and the beer-est of necessities, and that was good enough for him.

But it was too early in his day to even touch a can. Breakfast came first. Rolling himself out of bed, he pulled on a proper shirt and made his way to his tiny fridge in his tiny kitchen. He made himself a hearty breakfast of scrambled eggs, bacon, and toast, drinking straight from the OJ bottle because he didn’t live with anyone to tell him otherwise.

Shiro would have laughed, said not to, and not enforced it. But it had been three years since Takashi Shirogane had been declared dead and two since Keith had even stepped foot in a shatterdome, so he didn’t think about it too much.

It still felt like a fresh wound. And often times he’d wake up with a cry of Shiro’s name, too scared to move from his bed and see the night-covered sand that reminded him so much of the ocean. A year after Shiro’s death he’d been deemed a liability and was discharged. What came with that was a referral to a therapist in a nearby city that he’d never bothered scheduling an appointment with.

Sighing to himself, he put the OJ away and left his dishes in the sink to do later, too antsy to stand still. His days were a constant: suffer from insomnia, get to sleep as the sun rises, wake up in the middle of the day, eat, work out, clean, find menial stuff to do until dinner, try to sleep, repeat. And since he’d checked eating off the list, working out came next.

After what had happened to Nova, he walked with a slight limp on his right. The soreness in his arm had disappeared after about a month, but the limp had never gone away. The good part about being in a desert where it was warm even when it rained, was that his hip and knee never got cold or sore like they had back in Japan and other islands or coastal cities. He had other phantom pains from other Jaegers after Nova, but none of the damage he’d sustained had been worse than that.

At least he’d never suffered another pilot dying on him.

Keith shook his head as he started his routine. He’d gone through Shiro’s death one too many times, both consciously and not, and he was tired of thinking about it. It would probably haunt him for the rest of his life, how helpless he’d been as he watched Shiro being torn from Nova’s conn pod. He convinced himself again and again that there was nothing he could have done, but it still hurt to admit that.

As he was moving from lunges to pull-ups, a buzzing caught his attention. Rolling his eyes—he thought he’d put up enough bug traps—he went and grabbed the fly swatter by the door and started looking around to find the source of the noise. But as it got louder he realized it wasn’t a bug but actually a helicopter. That was landing. Right outside his door.

When the whir of the propellers calmed down, he made his way outside, shielding his eyes from the sun. The door was opened and the stairs were extended down, and a woman stepped out of it. She had rich dark skin and a mass of long kinky dyed white hair pulled up in a ponytail behind her head, her eyes covered by sunglasses. On other side of her glasses he noticed she had small pink streaks in her hair that stood out against the white. She was wearing a white trench coat, and from what little he could see under the hem of it she had on army pants tucked into combat boots. She was military, for sure, but he couldn’t tell from where; possibly Africa, or America?

“Good afternoon, Sergeant Kogane!” 

Or she was British. Her accent made her sound dainty almost. He took in a breath and did his best to remember all the English he’d learned back on base, it had been so long since he practiced.

“Who’s greeting me?” He shot back, crossing his arms and squinting at her. The sun bounced off her coat too brightly for his liking.

“Marshal Allura Ulta, PPCD, European Fleet. May I come in?”

Marshal, huh? He raised an eyebrow.

“All due respect, ma’am, I’m not in the fleet anymore.”

“I understand that, but I’d like to inquire about that. May I come in?”

The second time she asked seemed more forceful, like a command. He gave her a once over—she was just barely taller than him not counting her hair—then stepped aside from the door and let her enter. He didn’t offer anything to eat or drink.

Keith leaned against the shaky table pushed against the wall under the window. The top bunk of his bed had been converted to storage, and other than the single chair by his table and his unmade bed there was nowhere to sit. Marshal Ulta seemed content to stand where she was though, as she removed her glasses to get a better look at him. Her eyes were a bright intense blue, interesting considering her skin tone and the texture of her hair; he couldn’t help but hold eye contact with her.

“What are you doing here?” he finally asked, breaking the silence.

“We both know your profile so I’m not going to bother reading it. I was interested in meeting the only person to ever successfully pilot a Jaeger solo for any period of time.”

“Well, you met me. Impressed?”

She gave him a pleasant smile. “Your reputation precedes you, Sergeant. 7:7 drop-kill ratio, as a solo-pilot? That’s a record. It’s a shame that you had to be released on medical leave.”

Keith shrugged.

“Times are changing,” Allura continued, arms crossing behind her back. “We could use someone like you in the fleet again.”

“Why’s that?”

“You haven’t been keeping up with the news, have you.”

“No TV.” He motioned around.

“Ah. I'll catch you up then. In the last six months, Kaiju attacks have been increasing in frequency, the majority since the beginning of last year being Category 4’s. New crews are dropping like flies, Keith. There’s been barely any new recruits since last year. We’re losing Jaegers and don’t have enough pilots to replace them. Even maintenance is on a tight schedule. At this rate, the only crews left standing are going to be the veterans who’ve been fighting since the first appearances, if they can make it through these attacks without support.”

“So you want me to come back and fill the empty space.”

“I know you left the fleet two years ago, and that both Red and Nova were decommissioned, but I can pull some strings, get them back. We can get you re-acclimated, then back into battle within the month. It’ll be dangerous, but the fleet could use your help. The _world_ could use your help.”

Keith listened to what she had to say, some of her larger words flying right over him, but he got the gist of it. He was technically on medical leave but if she was a Marshal and she could ‘pull some strings’ like she’d said, she could probably get him permission to come back to service early. Still, if he rejoined the fleet, chances were she’d probably try to find him a co-pilot, and after Shiro there was no way he was going to try and Drift with someone again.

“As much as I’d love to, I’m not your hero,” he finally answered, pushing past her to open the door. “Besides, the only person I’d be willing to Drift with is dead.”

“What if I said he wasn’t?”

That caught Keith’s attention. He turned to look at her so quickly he gave himself whiplash, noting how confident her stance was. Shiro was… alive? He… Had only been declared dead but there had never been a body, and Keith only remembered him blacking out, not actually exiting the Drift. There was maybe some truth there…? In that moment, Keith was so overwhelmed by the idea of seeing Shiro again he couldn’t think straight. Irrationally, he whispered, “where?”

* * *

Stepping foot in a Shatterdome was always claustrophobic to him, but this one was almost twice as crowded as the Asian fleet’s. Marshal Ulta had taken him not back to the CADF Shatterdome like he’d expected her to, instead taking an overnight flight to somewhere on the other side of the world. When they touched down, she’d said “Lima,” and left it at that. 

“Welcome to the Castle,” she offered, waving a hand towards the massive open doors leading to the main corridor. It was impressive, but Keith had other things on his mind, like Shiro, and voiced his concerns.

“You’ll see him soon, he’s doing PT right now.”

“Physical training?”

“Physical therapy.”

Physical therapy… The damage must have been bad if he was still working on it after three years. But why hadn’t he been notified until now?

Before he could ask more questions, a red-haired scientist came beelining at them. Looking at the glasses, Keith instantly knew who he was, eyes going wide.

“Matt Holt?”

“Keith? In the flesh?” Matt stopped just in front of them, giving him a once-over. A grin broke out on his face and he offered up a hand for a shake. Keith took it and gave a firm handshake.

“I can’t believe you’re still here. How’ve you been?”

“There’ll be time to catch up later, remember that system that I was updating three years ago? I’m running tests but I’ve made some big improvements. Which, Marshal, you need to come see.”

“Show me after you introduce Keith to the Jaegers stationed here. I’ll be in your lab in thirty minutes, have Pidge clean the floor of lab by the time I get there,” Ulta told him.

“She’s doing minor maintenance on Army,” Matt reported, adjusting his glasses.

“Ah. Then make it forty, you have ten minutes between when you’re done showing Keith around and when I’ll get there to make it clean.”

“Yes ma’am,” he affirmed, and she nodded her approval before walking off.

“Well,” Matt said, turning to Keith, “I guess we’re gonna catch up now.

“I can’t believe you’re here. Professor Holt too, then?” Keith asked as they started walking towards the main docking bay just behind the doors.

Matt went silent for a moment, then shook his head. “There was an attack in California, last year. A conference hall was damaged, and he didn’t get out. That was… That was the start of the increasing attacks. Me and Katie have been working non-stop since then.”

Keith looked at him with wide eyes, processing that. He knew Matt had traveled with his father as soon as he was out of college to research Kaiju with him, and if that was how it came to an end… Keith knew what it was like to lose someone to a Kaiju, hell, it had consumed his life for the year until he’d been discharged, and even after that. At least Matt was channeling it into his programming.

“I’m sorry for your loss,” Keith said quietly.

“Don’t worry about it. You’ve got other things to focus on.” Matt shook his head.

“So Katie’s here then too?”

“Yup! She’s got her own maintenance crew and works hands-on with the Jaegers here. After she graduated she came straight here to work with me and dad.”

“She sounds dedicated to this.”

“Yeah man, she’s the youngest technician in the fleet. She just turned 19. You can tell her happy birthday when you see her later.” 

Matt lead him into the Castle, as Marshal Ulta had called it, probably her name for the place, through the main maintenance bay where all the Jaegers were stationed. There were about five that Keith could see, most of them ones he’d never served with.

“Since there aren’t many Jaegers left in service, there’s only three supported Shatterdomes left: Asia’s, Europe’s, and South America’s, this dome. We’rein contact with the other domes, separating the world into threes and patrolling as best as we can. Here we’ve got seven Jaegers total. Technicians are still looking for work so each Jaeger has it’s own maintenance crew, but resources are becoming limited and we’re pulling scrap from decommissioned and destroyed Jaegers to finish the jobs. Red’s got a smaller crew since she’s a smaller Jaeger, but she’s in tip-top shape since the last time you saw her.”

“Both arms back?” Keith asked, a giddy feeling rising in his gut. It would be good to see his old girl.

“Both arms back. You gotta treat her better, man, girls don’t like to have their arms ripped off on the last date,” Matt smirked at him. As they passed by Jaegers in the bay, he pointed them out to Keith one by one. The first was a brown and green Jaeger, with what looked to be reinforced arms and a nuclear core in it’s chest. Standing at it’s feet were a tall pair of people, with dark hair and brown skin. Keith was almost jealous of how built they both were. Still, the way the woman was standing seemed a little shy with how one arm crossed her body. They were talking to one or two people in overalls, probably their maintenance crew.

“Crystal Ignition, piloted by Shay Barros and her brother. First deployed two years ago, but they’re promising: on their first mission they were only supposed to be support but ended up stepping up and killing a category 4 themselves.”

He pointed to a navy Jaeger across the way, it’s conn pod having only one eye down the center. If Keith looked closely, there were other smaller ones around the head.

“Blade Marmora, piloted by Kolivan Reyes and Ulaz Suero. The oldest and only remaining gen II Jaeger in the fleet, but they’re still going strong. Their drop-kill ratio is only increasing by the day. They had the conn pod redone after a particularly close attack farther up the coast last year, giving them nearly three-sixty vision.”

Keith whistled at that. He didn’t see Mamora’s pilots around, so they were either getting some rest, training, or in the mess hall. Keith realized he rather _missed_ all of this, the hum and buzz of a crowded Shatterdome, where there was always something to do. Crowded as it was, it was almost comforting. Matt drew his attention to another Jaeger, this one a dark grey color with various red and orange plates.

“I think you’ll recognize this one,” Matt said, gesturing at it. Keith looked up at it, some of the plating was certainly new, but he’d recognize the logo across the chest any day.

“Dragon Trooper. Been a while.” Keith couldn’t help but smile faintly up at it. He looked away from the Jaeger to Matt, his expression quickly morphing to one of confusion. “Why do you have so many Jaegers from the CADF? I thought Asia still had a ‘dome.”

“Trooper’s old pilots deserted, unfortunately. Before she was decommissioned we reclaimed her and brought her here. The new pilots are those two, Ezor Rosales and Zethrid Ortiz.”

He pointed at the pair of them. The taller of the two was a beefy woman with short hair in a strange style, spiking out to either side of her head. The other girl was much smaller, but the muscles in her shoulders and back were clearly defined—they were both broad, but while one was built like a wrestler the other looked like a gymnast. The smaller had long red and yellow hair, and it was clear from her strange choice that her partner having green hair was her idea. They looked to be conversing joyfully, barely taking notice of Keith and Matt.

“There’s a few more introductions to get to, come on.” Matt ushered him along to the next one. Keith squinted up at it, then looked at Matt, then back at it and gestured to the worn paint job.

“Are those _flowers_ painted on it?”

“They sure are.”

The Jaeger was mostly blue, with yellow detailing and stripes here and there, but what caught Keith was the little white flowers across the chest and the forearms. If he looked a little closer, there were even some tiny _bees._

“Blue Bumble has a lot of character, right?” Matt chuckled.

“ _Bumble?_ Her pilots realize this is a war, don’t they?”

“Sure do, _amigo_ ,” a new voice chimed in. Keith turned away from Matt to see the owner. He was pretty tall, taller than Keith for sure, with surprisingly broad shoulders for such thin arms. He was like Ulta in a way, brown hair and warm skin, but his eyes were a brilliant blue. He was wearing a tank top tucked into a blue jumper tied around his waist, and judging by the matching daisies and bees on the legs of it it was probably their ‘uniform’ of sorts. Another pilot was standing behind him, equally tall but with an almost opposite build: big, beefy, almost like Ignition’s pilots except he was shorter. He had dark hair, skin, and eyes, his bangs tied back with an orange headband and the rest of his hair in a small ponytail. He wore his jumper correctly, but open a couple buttons down the front.

“Name’s Lance, this is my co-pilot Hunk,” Lance said, offering his hand up to shake. Keith looked at it, then up at his face. This guy seemed… Positive, like Shiro, but cocky, and not in the good way. He must have been new.

Lance offered his hand again but when Keith didn’t shake he leaned over to Hunk and said something in Spanish to him. Hunk shook his head and responded, making Lance chuckle. He turned back to Keith.

“You shake.”

“I know.”

When he didn’t, Lance placed his hands on his hips and leaned over to Hunk again, this time speaking in English, “don’t think he’s friendly.”

“Are you two new rangers?” Keith cut in.

“Huh? No, we’ve been serving together for a little over seven years. If I’ve read your profile right, that means we’re the vets.” Lance leaned down a little, almost condescending, but then his face took on a more earnest expression. “Impressive though, Demon Red. Piloting solo for a full year? I’ve only heard of one other pilot who could do that, and nowhere near as long.”

Keith paused, then muttered, “thanks,” and turned away from Lance again. Behind him he heard the two talking in Spanish as Matt lead him to the next Jaeger. Their tone made Lance seem judgmental, or at least annoyed with him, and Hunk seemed to be placating him. 

“Hunk Garett and Lance McClain. Lance was born and raised in Mexico, Hunk’s been living with his family since he was young,” Matt explained. Keith glanced back at the two, they looked like they were laughing now.

“What happened?” he asked, despite himself.

“The first Kaiju attack. It leveled Hunk’s home in the Philippines, and he was sent to live with Lance’s family as part of the refugee program. They’ve been great support since they started, so you’ll probably be seeing a lot of them.”

“I’m… I’ll look forward to it,” Keith said, looking away from Blue Bumble and her pilots. So that was their story. Lance still put him off, but maybe there was more to both of them. Only an actual Kaiju encounter would tell.

“I know Blue doesn’t seem intimidating, but wait until you see her gun.”

“They got a gun? Is it wrist-mounted like Miracle’s or—“

“No, it’s like an actual canon. Pidge designed it, it’s how she got into the program. Apparently on a boring weekend a couple years back those two helped set up a shooting range, so go check it out sometime.”

They came upon the last Jaeger docked. She was a big girl, her conn pod looking more like the front end of a ship than a helmet. There were attachments to her back that Keith assumed were boosters of some kind, and her forearms seemed more armored, like Ignition’s. She was painted a dark purple color, with varying pink plates and light blue decals. Something up by her shoulder was sparking; If Keith looked up he could vaguely make out the silhouette of someone working.

“This Jaeger is the Marshal’s. Altea Army, the first and only mark-IV Jaeger currently in service. She’s also Pidge’s design, comes complete with shield-generating armor on her back and arms, as well as various weapon attachments. She was specifically customized with the Marshal’s preferred techniques in mind,” Matt told him, motioning up to her Jaeger. Keith followed his hand, noting that while she was bulky, she was sleek, and looked pretty heavily reinforced—but if he looked closer he could see that under all the armor that her base was just a decommissioned mark-III with spare parts reworked and attached to her. After a moment more of admiring Matt called up, “Pidge!”

The sparking at Army’s shoulder stopped. There was scaffolding behind Army that Matt lead Keith towards, where the person slid down a pair of poles. When they were about Matt’s height off the ground, they jumped off the poles and landed with a little squat, their tool belt jingling around their waist as the stood and walked over.

“Matt, who’s this?” they greeted curtly, pushing their goggles up into their hair. Keith realized that they had the same red hair as Matt, but longer and tied into a high ponytail. The warm hazel eyes she had all but confirmed she was Katie Holt.

“This is Keith, the Ranger I was doing communications for in Asia a couple years ago.”

Katie gave Keith a critical stare, then tossed him a lazy smile. She offered a hand to him. Keith took it, surprised at the strength she put in her shake.

“The solo-pilot, yeah? You’re crazy, yanno that? How’d you handle the strain?”

“It was a…” Keith couldn’t really describe it, in honesty he didn’t know why he was able to pilot a Jaeger on his own when no one had ever done it before. He’d dealt with the bloodshot eyes and bloody noses, and he had the lines scared into his body like some kind of gruesome medal, but he just couldn’t explain it. He finally settled for, “It’s a rare case.”

“I’ll bet. I was responsible for Red’s upgrades, but I’m not part of her crew. Wish I was though, she’s a beauty.”

“Uh, thanks,” Keith answered. He’d never met Katie in person, and he was surprised at just how _small_ she seemed, in her loose overalls and massive tool belt. She was at least a head shorter than him, and he knew Matt was always at his eye-level but Katie was only at his shoulder. The gloves didn’t help either, making her arms seem thin despite the muscle tone in them.

“Come on, Keith, you remember my little sister, right?” Matt walked over to her and pulled her into a one-armed hug, ruffling her hair with one hand. “Miss graduated high school two years earlier and immediately went to college to get her degree in engineering before coming here and becoming the youngest technician in any fleet across the world?”

She shoved back at him with a laugh. “Oh stop it, you’re making me blush Mister also graduated high school early because he was accepted into MIT ‘cuz of his accomplishments on the robotics team and after graduating toured the world with our renown professor of a dad, only to have an acclaimed thesis on Kaiju published in multiple scientific papers.”

“Hey, don’t remind me how outdated that paper is,” Matt snorted, giving her another good hair ruffle. Keith’s lips turned in a small smile at how they interacted. Part of him found it almost bittersweet, that they had a similar relationship to what he and Shiro used to have. Maybe he made his anxiousness to move on apparent when he crossed his arms, as the Holt siblings stopped swatting each other.

“Sorry. Katie, I’ll catch up with you at dinner, Marshal Ulta’s coming by to see what progress I made on the system earlier,” Matt said to her, pulling away and heading back towards Keith to start leading him off.

“‘Kay. After I’m done with Army I need to do some work on Blue’s canon so I might be a little late depending on how much that holds me up.” She started climbing up the scaffolding again, nimble on the bars.

“Right—see ya later Pidge!”

She threw him a thumbs up, but a quick second later she called out to Keith, making him turn back around.

“I like the bomber,” Katie grinned. Keith nodded and she turned away from him. He continued following Matt off farther back into the maintenance bay.

“You like to brag about her,” he pointed out when they were a little ways off.

Matt shrugged. “Dad’s not here, I gotta brag enough for the both of us.”

“She seems smart.”

“Katie’s got a real good head on her shoulders. I just wish she didn’t pursue building weapons, but at least she’s good at it.”

There was an equal amount of pride and bitterness in how Matt said it that Keith couldn’t miss even if he wanted to. They lapsed into silence again for a moment while Keith looked around again. They were farther back in the ‘dome now, away from the main doors so all the lighting was artificial floodlights on the floor and huge lamps hanging from the ceiling. There was a perpetual yellow glow here, making the rusted beams and chipping white paint seem almost sepia in color. The floor was black, once again having the white duct tape arrows and lines to direct traffic. It felt like he was back in Hong Kong again. The same organized chaos filled this Shatterdome, but everything felt amplified due to the sheer amount of personnel on board. He almost got separated from Matt one or two times, who always pulled him back to point out certain elevators and landmarks. The dome was five floors in total with an open roof level. The floor they were currently on was the main docking bay with the open area outside of the main doors that handled all helicopter traffic. The three floors below them held the laboratories, the med bay, the mess hall, the training facilities, and the various bunks, while the floor above was mainly office space and storage. Matt didn’t actually show Keith any of this, he just told him all of it, pointed at the elevators, and said “good luck.”

“Ready for the main event?” he asked, practically skipping on ahead.

“I didn’t realize there was one,” Keith responded, refocusing his attention on Matt.

“If you kept count, Sergeant, you’d have noticed we only met five of seven Jaegers. We keep your pretty girl back here because she hasn’t been deployed in three years, but we’re gonna move her to the main bay in about two days.” He checked his watch, then started jogging towards another elevator. “I don’t have much time left so you’re only gonna be passing her, and then I’ll send you off to see Shiro.”

“Sounds good.”

They turned the corner passed the elevator to an open platform. If Keith looked down he could see all the way to the lowest floor, each level opened up to see out. He figured out they were towards the back of the ‘dome, probably where the Jaegers were brought after a thrashing to be fixed up.

Sure enough there were two suspended above the ground, various technicians on scaffolding around her using tools Keith couldn’t even begin to name to replace wrecked plating with new ones. Demon Red looked _good,_ better than he’d ever seen her. Sure enough she had both arms back, and if he was right her shoulders and elbows seemed reinforced to take more weight. She didn’t have elbow boosters anymore to compensate, but there were mounts on both forearms now for blades. With the new paint job, bright red and glimmering, she looked like a new Jaeger.

“Like Katie said, she did Red’s upgrades.” He slapped Keith in the shoulder, saying “You didn’t tell her happy birthday, dude! Anyway, in addition to swords on both arms, the pistons per muscle strand was increased so she can move faster than she used to. If you compare her to Jaegers like Bumble or Ignition she’s still smaller, but she packs a lot more of a punch now, enough to compare with them.”

“I missed her.” Keith didn’t realize how much he had until he said it. “And Katie did an amazing job.”

“Like I said, passing by. You can ogle her later. I have one more to show you.”

Matt tugged at Keith’s bag to pull him away. He hesitated to leave, his eyes lingering on Demon Red before turning away so he didn’t lose Matt. they went a little farther down the corridor, stopping in front of another Jaeger.

Keith sucked in a breath. Ulta had said she’d pulled some strings and got Crimson Nova recommissioned, but he couldn’t believe his eyes. He never thought he’d see he and Shiro’s Jaeger again. Her conn pod had been fixed up, replaced with something a little larger but looking relatively the same. She had the same boosters on her back that Army had now, and her arm had been replaced. Keith stepped forward and leaned over the railing to look down, noting that her crew was replacing the plating on her leg where it had been damaged in Nova’s last drop.

“She’s not ready for deployment yet, they still have to reinforce her legs with new plating and upgrade both her core and muscle strands, but when she’s done you’re gonna be the first to see her,” Matt said, leaning on the railing next to Keith.

“I never thought I’d see her again. Did Katie do her upgrades too?”

“No, unfortunately, so she won’t be as good as Red. But she’s up to par. The first thing they did was rebuild her knuckles to be stronger when you brawl.”

Keith looked at her for a little while longer, finally tearing his eyes away. While he was overjoyed to see Crimson Nova being fixed, anxiety and trauma welled in him. She carried good memories and bad memories, and the bad memories—specifically her last drop—was almost too overpowering. Biting his lip, Keith barely looked up at Matt.

“Can I see Shiro now?”

* * *

The med bay smelled sterile compared to the rest of the ‘Dome. Matt didn’t come down with him since he had to go back to his lab, and when Keith got there he was told to leave his bag and jacket outside. Left in just a tight high-collared sleeveless top and his sweats, goosebumps raising all along his arms. As he rubbed his arms, he get looks from some of the doctors who were noting the lines scarred into his skin. He avoided looking back, but when he did the doctors looked away, back to their computers or paperwork. Keith walked up to a doctor working on a small stack of papers. 

“Where can I find PT here?” He asked, grabbing her attention. She glanced up at him, visibly startling and then looking over his arms, chewing her inner cheek.

“Are you cleared for active duty?” she asked instead. She had a thick Spanish accent. Keith looked around the room for a minute, they turned back to her.

“Why do you ask?”

“You’re just limping quite badly…”

In a brilliant moment of half-truthing to get to where he needed to go, he said, “that’s why I’m here.”

“Ah,” she answered, looking at his scars again, and then pointed towards a door by the back of the room with a glass window next to it.

“Over there.”

“Thanks.”

He quickly made his way inside, peeking in first to see who was there. At first he didn’t see anyone, but he realized slowly that the room extended more past the window, and towards the back of the room there was a therapist working with someone. Keith slowly made his way towards them, biting his lip when he saw the patient.

Shiro looked… Different. He was more rugged somehow, with a slump to his shoulders that he seemed to be trying to pass off. That was like him, always pretending to be more okay than he was. He was wearing a loose shirt, and though Keith couldn’t see what was under it he could see _enough_ —the way the right sleeve hung limply with nothing in it was all he needed to see to understand what had happened.

The breath he exhaled alerted the doctor and Shiro to his presence. The both turned around, making him step back a little, his shoulders hunching.

“Can I help you?” the doctor asked.

Keith glanced at Shiro, who was making a strange expression at him, and said, “I’m here for a visit, I was sent by Marshal Ulta.”

“Ah. We were just finishing up, we can fill out the rest of the paperwork later. Mr. Shirogane, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Alright. Thank you, doctor,” Shiro said as the doctor got up and exited, leaving them alone.

Keith hesitated, biting his lip again, before taking the doctor’s seat on the stool at the edge of the bench Shiro was on. It was strange to be here with him again, and now that Keith was sitting across from him he could see more of the damage. There was a massive scar across the bridge of his nose, a dip in the center that was more prominent when Keith caught Shiro’s profile what he was turning his head. He had more white in his hair now, and while he still had it in a similar style with that weird little tuft in the front, many of the white strands were more prominent now that it was longer. He looked older, more rugged and worn.

“So…” Shiro started. Keith startled a bit, clamping down on his lip hard enough that he couldn’t help making a sound. Shirt jumped too, offering a hand to steady him before he fell out of the chair.

“I’m okay, I’m fine,” Keith said quickly, shrugging away from Shiro’s hand. He couldn’t quite handle it, seeing Shiro in front of him. If he wasn’t careful he might start crying.

“I didn’t mean to startle you,” Shiro said, moving his hand back to lean on the bench again. His voice seemed different somehow, no longer was his English as fluid as it used to be. He had a similar accent to when Keith first met him, and he went through words slowly, struggling on the Ls and Rs like he had when they were learning back in the CADF ‘Dome.

“It’s fine.”

Keith fell silent again, not sure what to say. He realized that he’d been so excited to see Shiro he hadn’t at all thought about what he was going to say. Something he had noticed, though, was that Shiro hadn’t greeted him, so either he remembered Keith and was being as awkward about this as he felt, or something far more damaging had happened.

Bracing himself for the worst, Keith asked, “do you know me?”

Shiro looked at him, his brows furrowing as if he was thinking. Keith leaned forward a little, his chest tightening while he anticipated an answer.

“I don’t,” Shiro finally answered. “Do you know me?”

Keith wasn’t sure how to answer that, so instead he asked, “what happened?”

“I don’t… Really remember. I woke up and realized I wasn’t in the academy, but when I asked them to take me back they said I couldn’t go. After I saw I was missing my arm, they told me I had amnesia related to head trauma but I couldn’t tell them how I sustained myself,” Shiro explained, slowly. “Sorry, English isn’t my first language, I’ve spend the last year trying to learn it for the academy.”

“I know,” Keith said, and then bit his lip. Quickly he finished in Japanese, _“It’s not mine either.”_

_“You speak Japanese?”_

_“Yeah, a little. Korean too.”_

_“You sound fluent.”_

“So does your English,” Keith said, letting a small smile slip through. _“So you were in the academy?”_

_“Yeah, I just joined. What about you, are you a technician or a programmer?”_

Keith already knew Shiro’s answer, but he needed more to figure out how far back Shiro had forgotten. Forcing himself to chuckle, he answered, _“I’m a Ranger.”_

_“A Ranger? So you pilot a Jaeger and fight Kaiju? That’s amazing. Is it scary?”_

_“Yeah. When you first start, but you get… You get used to it. It’s less scary when you have your co-pilot in the Drift with you, at least you have someone with you.”_

_“I want to be a Ranger. When I lived with my grandparents they supported me, but if a Kaiju attacks Japan it could destroy their home. I want to protect them, or at least get enough money to help them move inland.”_

“ _Sounds like a good goal._ How old are you?”

“Twenty-one.”

“And what year is it?”

“2022—no, 2028 was what the doctor said. It’s a little weird, I feel like I’m just…” Shiro paused speaking, his eyes glossing over like he was spacing out. Keith waited patiently, swallowing when Shiro didn’t immediately say anything. After a moment he opened his mouth to say Shiro’s name, but suddenly he spoke.

_“Sorry, that happens a lot, the doctors said it’s a result of a concussion. I wish I could remember what had happened, I hope it won’t hold me back in the academy. I mean, anymore than missing an arm will.”_

A thousand things to say burned on the tip of Keith’s tongue, but he bit them back. Instead, he stood up and said, _“I hope it won’t either. I just got to the ‘Castle,’ like the Marshal says, so I have to find my room, but I’m sure I’ll see you again. What was your name again?”_

_“Takashi Shirogane. You can call me Shiro for short though, it’s easier to remember,”_ Shiro said, giving Keith another smile.

_“Shiro. It's nice to meet you. I’m Keith Kogane.”_

They nodded at each other and exchanged a few final remarks before Shiro waved him off, and Keith made his way out of the med bay. The doctor who let him in eyed him as he left, this time more annoyed as she’d surely seen through his lie when the doctor first left the room. He barely spared her a glance, quickly gathering his jacket and bag and heading towards the floor below to find his quarters. He recalled Matt’s directions, only vaguely paying attention to where he was going as he was too preoccupied with Shiro, and what he was missing.


	3. You're Always the Loudest, When You're Trying to be Silent

Four days passed relatively peacefully, or as peacefully as they could in a Shatterdome. Keith fell back to his CADF days, keeping to himself and not really associating. He saw Blue Bumble’s pilots once or twice, but they didn’t interact with him as much; Lance would follow Keith with his eyes for a while, then turn away with whatever expression he had on before that, usually a smile. Hunk would just give him a smile but wouldn’t spare much more. Neither of them seemed to make him a topic of conversation, but in the mess hall he noted that they were always surrounded by the louder people. Spanish was the most common language on the ‘Dome, followed by gossip, and they were always surrounded by both. Hunk seemed to be the more quiet of the two, but he had his own energy about him that showed in how animated his hands were when he talked. Just seeing the way they interacted with each other and those around them, Keith knew they were highly compatible.

He ate on his own mostly, but when the Holt siblings found themselves in the dinning hall at the same time as him they’d eat together. He found that Matt was actually a good conversationalist, and Katie was about as awkward as Keith was, but when Matt got going and she got into the conversation he could barely get a word in. She liked to throw things at Matt too, like her potatoes or little bits of cheese; Keith was surprised they never started a food fight. But Matt seemed alright with it, and she’d stop if he said to. He didn’t try to eat with Shiro, still not sure what to do about the whole amnesia situation, and Ulta never took meals with them so he couldn’t ask her any questions either.

He did check out the shooting range once, but he’d never touched a gun in his life so he didn’t really care all that much. It was just nice to know where it was.

One thing he missed from his desert home was his motorcycle, which he hadn’t thought about asking if he could even bring. He probably wouldn’t have been able to, but it would have been nice to go on a night drive around the base or to the surrounding towns. They didn’t ration as heavily here as they did in Hong Kong, but there were still things like OJ or soda or gas station candy that he wanted. He wasn’t craving a beer either, but pain killers would have been nice.

His limp hadn’t gotten worse on the base, but he’d gotten used to the constant heat of the desert. At night it got pretty cold, but he had his multiple quilts warmed during the day, and by the time he woke up it was usually warm enough to melt the chill from the night before. On this base, it was usually warm outside and inside, but at night the cold set in fast and he barely had enough blankets to stop from shivering. He wasn’t used to sleeping with a sweater on, but he was about to start. The cold set in and made his joints hurt, especially his elbows and knees, and his right leg to the point that he had to lean on something to walk sometimes.

Training hit him hard too, but only when he got sore after. He liked working out—most of his joint pains were phantom pains or neurological from his time in Red, and sparring or just doing personal regimens helped him work through it. The stretching afterwards was always the best part. When he’d been discharged the first time, both general and physical therapy had been suggested to him, but he never made a real effort to go after conveniently losing the referral on the road when he threw it out of his pocket (oops). Maybe his problems were from that, but they were easy enough to ignore. Except for his cold-weather knee nothing else really caused him problems.

He settled into his routine again. The insomnia still hit him, but at least now he didn’t have to look out at a restless ocean of sand and see an imaginary Kaiju rising above the waves. For hours he would just sit and stare at Demon Red in the docking bay, or watch the tech crews work on Crimson Nova. There was still a lot to be done on her, and they had three crews working in eight-hour shifts to get the work done quickly. She was coming along fast, her leg had been almost completely repaired, and they’d reinforced her arms and chest already. Probably within the next couple days she’d get a new paint job. Keith hoped they’d keep her primarily black with the dark red accents and judging by how faithful they’d been to Red’s old paint, he figured they’d give Nova the same respect.

He wondered though, how he and Shiro would be able to pilot her if he had amnesia of the last six years. And his missing arm too, how would that affect their performance as pilots. Keith had never tried to Drift with anyone other than Shiro either, and though he had Red part of him wondered if the Marshal would try to make him her co-pilot. A couple of times he’d entertained conspiracy theories about how Shiro was a fake or a hired actor dressed to look like him, and this was some elaborate scheme just to get him to be Ulta’s co-pilot. He went through multiple reiterations, some incredibly serious and backed up, and others just stupid jokes he made up to laugh at himself over.

Mostly, time passed just the same as it did back at the CADF ‘Dome, the only difference was that he didn’t have Shiro to spend it with.

On the fifth night, when Keith was sitting at the maintenance bay at watching the tech crew doing work on Nova, the alarms signaling a Kaiju attack blared. The whole base exploded with life, that organized chaos echoing throughout the place as everyone rushed to their stations. Keith had taken to walking around in his suit under army pants and his bomber again so he was all ready to go when the intercoms blared.

“Blue Bumble, Demon Red, report to the docking bay in ten. Crystal Ignition, you’re on deck so get suited up and be ready.”

Keith shot up and started heading towards the main bay, hissing as he was slowed by his limp. He found that the layout of the ‘Dome was pretty much the same as Hong Kong’s, so he already knew where to go without having to ask. He slipped into the elevator just before the door closed, finding Matt and Ignition’s pilots already inside.

“Hey!” Matt greeted, fumbling with the clipboards and coffee in his hands to give Keith a fist bump, which he was slow to return.

“What were you doing up?”

“Couldn’t sleep,” Keith shrugged, glancing towards—what was her name—Shay and her brother. They were even taller in person, probably clearing six feet; Shay’s brother for sure did. He had his hair in dreads, pulled back in a loose tail behind his head. Shay had her hair in many thin, tight braids that she had tied in a pair of low buns. The two had matching gauges in their ears, made of a blue-green colored stone or plastic. As the elevator came to a stop, her brother huffed at him and exited it with a slow gait. Keith watched him exit, noting that just passing looks to people was generally enough to get them to move.

“Sorry about him,” Shay said. She had a soft voice, something he wouldn’t have expected from someone built like her. She also had an accent, but it was gentler than Lance’s, or even Allura’s. He couldn’t place it though.

“I’m Shay. That’s my brother Rax. He acts gruff but he’s really nice, I promise.”

“Right…” Keith nodded, still watching Rax, and she smiled and nodded back, exiting the elevator as well. She called something after Rax in what Keith finally recognized as Portuguese, and trotted off to catch up to him.

“Like I said, promising. Well, you ready for your first mission back?” Matt asked, as they turned in the opposite direction.

“Hope I haven’t lost my touch,” Keith answered, shoving his hands in his bomber’s pockets. Matt shrugged.

“Better get it back fast, cuz you’re going in the wrong direction.”

* * *

When Keith was situated in Demon Red’s conn pod, an anxiety welled in him that he hadn’t felt since he’d first stepped foot in Nova. He couldn’t help it, it had been two years since he’d been in a Jaeger, and in one solo at that, and knowing that he could come of of this with more scars and a bloody nose or _worse_ of course he worried. Still, it was comforting to be in Red’s conn pod again, strapped in with the heavy weight of tubes and wires at his back, and thousands of tons of machinery and metal around him. Focusing on what was new in Red helped him calm down. 

Matt was running logistics, and the sheer familiarity of that helped calm him too.

“Initiating neural handshake. Entering the Drift now.”

Entering a Drift as a solo-pilot in a Jaeger was rather different than entering with a co-pilot. While a normal Drift connected the two pilots through memories and then linked them to the Jaeger by splitting the load between them both, the Drift Keith went through bypassed linking him through memories and wired him directly into the Jaeger. It was that missing segment, splitting the brain into two halves, that usually drove people off the deep end, but for some reason it had never bothered Keith. As he was coming out of the Drift, it occurred to him that maybe it didn’t affect him because Shiro hadn’t technically _died_ when they’d been connected and he’d been ripped out, so after they’d still been connected and splitting the load of Red in a way. He made a note to bring it up to Matt and ask when they made it back from the fight.

“Welcome aboard, gentlemen,” Matt said, engaging the drop and giving Keith and Blue statistics as they engaged main forward sight and connected the head to the rest of the body.

“The Kaiju’s a category 4 codenamed Daichi. My system’s predicting it’s appearance about five miles west of here in T minus thirty minutes, so make your way out and wait until you see it. Ignition’s on deck and in drivesuits, and can be there to intercept if something goes wrong. Red, you’ll be front lining and Blue’ll be your support.”

“Aye-aye, captain,” Lance’s voice chimed over the intercom. Keith felt a pang of annoyance run through him and reached up to turn off the comms, his finger pausing when Lance spoke again.

“By the way, Red, we know you’re a lone-wolf type, but remember that if we can’t get a clear shot we’re liable to hit you too. And personally neither of us would wanna scratch up that pretty new paint job.”

“Then don’t hit me,” Keith growled in response, flipping off the comms.

“They’re right, Red,” the Marshal’s voice suddenly chimed in, startling him. If either of Blue’s pilots said anything, he couldn’t hear it.

“Keep your comms open so we reduce the chance of friendly fire. Remember what I said Sergeant, we can’t sustain more losses.”

With another sigh, Keith flipped the comms back on, leaving them open in case Blue had anything to say. There was various chatter from Matt’s end, but otherwise the trek out was silent. Keith had almost forgotten what it was like to pilot a Jaeger, but he could feel all of Red’s upgrades, from how smoothly she handled too how easily she cut through the water. He felt stronger, maybe even stronger than he had in Nova, and a childish part of him couldn’t wait to see how well the new swords functioned. The anxiety in him had mostly vanished now. One of the smaller screens in front of him showed his vitals were normal and his link with Red was holding strong.

He spared a glance at Blue behind him. Matt hadn’t been kidding, and neither had Katie when she made the canon they were packing. It was about the size of a freight ship, with a similar paint job to Blue and plating around the muzzle. It looked like it could be used as a powerful blunt-force weapon, but had to be held with both hands to fire. He hoped her pilot’s practice in the tiny shooting range translated to the monstrous size of the Kaiju they were about to face off against.

“Admiring the goods, _amigo?_ ” Lance suddenly said over the comms.

Keith snorted and turned away, refocusing on the open sea before him. “Just curious about what Katie made for you.”

“This lil’ guy? Oh, let me tell you pal,” Hunk said with an appreciative sigh, and that was maybe the first time Keith had heard him speak since they’d met. His voice was higher than Keith had expected, but that energy he had translated through well enough. “Pidge outdid herself. Yanno how most of the Jaegers that have plasma canons are nuclear, right? This gun’s actually a particle canon. So if it takes too much damage instead of going full nuke and destroying the world and us, it’ll just explode like a normal Jaeger. Er, a non-nuclear Jaeger. The new ones.”

He seemed to have a slightly lighter accent than Lance, like he spoke in English more than Spanish. That made it easier for Keith to follow his schpiel. He wondered if Hunk and Katie ever got to talking, it seemed like they were into the same things. Lance snickered and said something in Spanish, to which Hunk responded with a chuckle and an almost sarcastic, “sorry,” but after that the comms went silent again.

They kept moving towards the coordinates Matt had sent them on their maps. When Keith was right on top of the point, he stopped walking and started scanning the area for Daichi.

“Seems as though Daichi’s going to be right on time. When it gets closer to the surface my system can tell you a general shape and if there’s any weapons you have to worry about,” Matt said.

“Weapons?” Keith asked, giving a quizzical look in the general direction of the headset in his helmet.

“It was a new development starting about four months ago. Sometimes category 4s show up with weapons, like EMPs or acid vomit or other things.”

Keith muttered a curse to himself in Korean. “What was it the Marshal said? Times have changed?”

“Sure have. Those weapons are why we’re losing so much,” Lance answered. “We’re about a half-mile away from you but we have a clear visual. Keep your floodlights on at least until we see what that _fucker_ looks like.”

Keith wasn’t sure what the last word Lance said meant but he was sure it was an insult of sorts. He gave an affirmative and flicked on his lights, attempting to keep a three-sixty visual going. Right about then he wished he had Mamora’s conn pod with it’s multiple viewports.

“Red, it’s coming in pretty hot, keep eyes on your left. Should engage soon, but if I’m right it’s got six legs and a tail, watch out for two mouthes and—“

“Behind you!” Hunk cut Matt off. Keith heard the explosion of water before he felt it impact of the water displacing around Red’s legs. He turned with a sudden burst of speed he didn’t even know a Jaeger could be capable of, raising his arms to catch the Kaiju before it could ground him.

Sure enough it had six legs. It’s main body was quite thin, and it’s face was almost hammerhead-like in nature. Each leg was equipped with grasping claws at the end, spindly like the rest of the Kaiju, but when it sheered clean through Red’s floodlight at her shoulder Keith knew he didn’t want to get hit by those.

Before it could get too much damage in, shots impacted it from behind. Keith held his ground while it writhed and tried to turn around. With one of Red’s arms free Keith released the sword on that side, slicing at it. Daichi screeched but instead of rounding on him, swung it’s last appendage—a tail, like Matt had said—to clock Red in the back of the head. Keith swung again, this time cutting deep into one of the Kaiju’s arms. It jumped off Red and shoved her back before Keith could cleanly sever the arm from it’s body.

“Blue, it’s coming your way!”

“We can see that, grab it’s tail!” Hunk yelled back. Blue readied her canon and fired a set of shots, landing two direct hits to the Kaiju’s face. One shot finished the job on it’s arm and blew it clean off somewhere to Keith’s right, where Kaiju Blue started seeping into the water. While the rest missed, those three shots were enough to slow Daichi down enough for Keith to grab it’s tail and yank it back. He could feel each piston in Red’s arm as he tugged it back, the power surging through him almost the same way adrenaline did. Raising his sword up, he brought it down just in front of Daichi’s back two legs, severing them and the tail from the rest of the body.

“Nice one!” Lance said as Daichi collapsed under the surface of the water and it’s tail went limp in Red’s hand.

“Yeah. Nice shooting, Hot Shots,” Keith answered, looking at the fluorescent blue surrounding Red’s legs.

“Hey, Hot Shots, I like that. Sounds good, huh Hunk?”

“Hey! Don’t get comfortable! Daichi’s still got a pulse!” Matt yelled to snap them out of their early celebration.

“Still? Red just took it down—“

“That’s only the half of it, literally! Two pulses now! Get ready for an extended fight!”

The tail started writhing in Red’s hand. Keith reacted fast, stabbing at one of it’s legs before it could dig it’s claws into Red’s midsection, but the other half of the tail _bit_ into Red’s shoulder, ripping some of the new plating off. It’s remaining leg scratching into Red’s hip, buckling her on that side when two of the jagged claws stabbed in and severed some wires. Keith yelled and gripped harder at the tail, bracing himself with his sword when he was forced to kneel. He could feel new cuts ripping into his body, blood seeping through his drivesuit and down his leg. Red’s conn pod rattled when the tail crashed into it, attempting to bite through and get to him.

Ahead of him he could see the water rising, spraying like rain when the surface broke and Daichi’s other half rose from it. It charged Blue, who had backed off a bit to get farther out of the line of fire.

“Blue, Daichi’s coming right for you—“ Keith started, but Lance cut him off.

“I can see that, just hold the tail still!”

“But the other half—“

“Ignore it! Hold it still!”

Keith grit his teeth and growled in Korean, “ _you better have a plan,_ Hot Shot _!”_ before he retracted his sword and grabbed the tail with both hands. He managed to get a good hold just below the biting head at the end, pulling it off himself and holding it up. Giving a glance up to Blue, he watched Daichi’s other half ram into Blue’s waist and send her _flying_ off balance just before she pulled the trigger. While she was going down she lined up the shot, so the canon charged and fired a moment before she hit the water. Keith braced for impact, yelling an insult at them in his mother tongue, only to take it back quickly when the head above his hand splattered behind Red’s head and over her shoulder. The tail went limp and the claws stopped clawing, pulling out of Red’s hip easily when he tugged a little.

Over the intercom, Hunk had screamed. Lance was talking to him again but it was muffled, far away from the speakers. Keith didn’t bother thinking too hard about it, only reporting, “tail’s dead, just hold it off for a minute.”

“Hunk took a hit when he landed, his shoulder popped out of it’s socket so we can’t move our left arm. Hurry up Red, I can only close the ports so fast before we fill with water!”

Keith didn’t respond, running as fast as he could through rough, hip-deep water to Blue and her pilots. Without his floodlight he could only gauge where they were by the water being sprayed off the surface and the red sparks under the water. Keith reached out and grabbed for something, finding purchase on a leg and tugging back. Daichi reared it’s messy head towards Red and shrieked but didn’t pull free of Blue. Keith tugged again, grabbing another arm and pulling up so the Kaiju jerked back and nearly fell on him. As it was turning around, the muzzle of Blue’s gun rose above the surface and cuffed Daichi under the jaw to knock it back a little more. In response, it lurched forward to go for Blue again, it’s chest getting caught against the muzzle. Keith heard the gun powering up and stepped to Blue’s other side, grabbing Daichi’s neck and shoving it down agains the gun so it couldn’t escape.

Blue took a single shot, this one more powerful than the smaller one had fired earlier; Keith could feel the pulse rip through Daichi and shake Red’s hands enough that the residual shock left his palms tingling. The attack tore through Daichi’s chest, blowing off it’s remaining front arm and separating the rest of it’s upper body from it’s remaining two legs. Keith threw the two halves of the corpse away from Blue, backing off as she rose above the surface and stood again.

“Matt, is it gonna split into three?” Hunk asked, strained. Keith noticed that Blue had switched her gun from her left hand to her right one, the other arm hanging limp by her side.

“No, both pulses are down. We’re sending out a clean up crew to retrieve the corpse and sponge the water, so get back to base. Hunk, when you get back go to the medical bay immediately, the doctor’s expecting you.” It was the Marshal speaking again.

Both crews gave a confirmation. They gathered themselves enough to stumble back.

* * *

When they returned, there was a big commotion to congratulate them; it was short and fast, but big due to the sheer number of people on the base. Many of the people who got close gave Lance high fives and slaps to his shoulders, while whooping and whistling for Hunk to avoid agitating his arm. Otherwise they left a path open to get him to the med bay quickly, since seeing the extent of the damage confirmed that his elbow was probably broken too. 

As for Keith, he received a similar fanfare, that he mostly just went through the motions of. He was back to limping but when someone pointed out the blood at his hip, he was sent off to the med bay right after Blue Bumble’s pilots. Before he could exit the crowd, Crystal Ignition’s pilots, specifically Rax stepped in front of him. Keith looked up at him. He had his arms crossed and brows furrowed, but he didn’t seem angry. Instead he was just… Perplexed maybe. For the first time since he’d been on a Shatterdome, it went silent.

“You’re an impressive pilot, Demon Red,” Rax finally said, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Your reputation is incredible for a reason. It’ll be an honor to serve with you.”

Before Keith could answer, Rax turned and headed back into the crowd. Shay had been standing behind him, and she stepped up to take his place.

“I told you he was nice,” she said, offering a fist to him to bump. “The way you held that Kaiju down for Blue was amazing.”

He bumped back. “They were just in a good place. Pass on that it’ll be an honor to serve with Crystal Ignition too.”

Shay had a gorgeous smile, Keith thought when she beamed at him.

“I will! See you around, Demon Red!”

* * *

Thankfully Shiro wasn’t in the med bay when Keith went in; it was probably too early in the morning, as the sun had started rising while they were on their way back. It was crowded though, with Lance, Hunk, and him, as well as two other people being treated for work-related injuries. 

There were only three staffed doctors so he had to wait, and with the adrenaline fading more after his run in with Shay and her brother the cuts at his hip were starting to sting more than anything. He never could explain _how_ they got there, especially when he hadn’t been thrown around like Blue Bumble had; Some of his previous fights had been tough and he’d been thrashed around in the conn pod pretty badly, but mostly he just ended up with bruises or in the rare case of a serious fall, a joint popped out of place. Mostly his scars were all lines that just _appeared_ where Red took damage. It must have been some further by-product of a solo-drift.

One of the patients left the room with his wrist in an ace-wrap and a brace around that. It must have been a sprain. Keith watched him exit, then went in himself. He hadn’t pulled his drivesuit off yet, so he hoped getting around the plating and the suit under it wouldn’t be too much of a problem. He didn’t pay too much attention to the other person there, only noting that _legs don’t bend like that_ while he went towards the end of the bay.

He took the bench he’d met Shiro on the day before, the one just in front of Lance and Hunk. His shoulder looked like it had been popped back in. Knowing firsthand that he’d just be sore, Keith hoped that Hunk’s elbow would be okay too.

Lance noticed him sit down when his drivesuit clanked against the bench. He turned away from Hunk to Keith, patting his co-pilot’s back before moving to the chair next to him.

“What are you in for, _amigo?”_ Lance asked, using that nickname again. Keith shrugged, motioning to the dark patch at the side of his suit.

“I took a little damage when Daichi took out my floodlight. It’s just a scrape.”

Lance let his eyes flick down to Keith’s hip, the looked up at him with a quizzical expression. Before Keith could comment, the freed doctor came to see him. It was the same woman from yesterday that he’d bluffed passed, and she gave him a blank look.

“What are you in for?”

“Took some damage to my side, it’s bleeding but not too heavily,” Keith told her. Lance did his little turn away thing again, moving his chair back so the doctor could get around him and stand in front of Keith.

“Suit off. I need to see the damage.”

“Oh, right.”

Keith took a moment to find the clasps and pulls to get his drivesuit’s plating off. Lance chimed in helpfully at some of the tougher couplings, shaking his head and laughing a little whenever Keith gave him a narrow-eyed look. After a few moments he was able to pull the top of the suit down enough to reveal the fresh mark on his hip, and the other varying lines scarred into his skin.

The doctor’s brows shot up immediately. She gave Keith a short look but didn’t ask, instead going about examining the damage to his hip. Keith noted that Lance gave him the same expression, but was trying not to stare, instead was watching the other doctor work on a cast and sling for Hunk.

“Wait here, it’s not terribly deep but I need to clean it and bandage it up.”

The doctor moved around Lance again and made her way out and towards the front of the bay where they kept more supplies. Keith examined the new mark on his own, a single new line going from the front of his right hip bone, over his hip, and to just under the dimple at the base of his back on the same side.

“I know your floodlight wasn’t on that side,” Lance finally broke the silence with.

Keith paused his self-examination and turned to Lance.

“And I know there aren’t floodlights where all the rest of those lines are,” he finished, leaning back in his chair and propping one leg up. “You did a great job out there Keith, don’t get me wrong, but does that always happen when you fight?”

The doctor came back in with a handful of materials. She commanded Keith to stay standing and keep his hands up while she worked to clean and dress the wound. The alcohol wipes stung but it wasn’t anything he wasn’t used to. She ripped open a large packet with a sterile gauze pad inside, cutting it into thirds to cover the entirety of the wound. She used medical tape to tack it in place, using pieces over the joins to make sure nothing could get in or out.

“Don’t take it off, even when you take a shower. Come back tomorrow morning and I’ll redress it for you,” the doctor said. She picked up a clipboard from the end of the bench on he way out and then quickly exited the room, probably going back to her desk in the front. Keith watched her go over his shoulder, and then slowly looked at Lance, who was staring again.

“It would be nice if you didn’t stare, it’s kind of rude,” Keith said, looking down at his arms as he pulled the rest of his suit up.

“Oh—yeah, sorry—“ that was about as flustered as Keith seen Lance so far. He looked away quickly and trained his eyes on the discarded bloody armor on the floor. “I was just thinking about something.”

“Something?” Keith asked, taking a seat again. He realized that the joints in his arms weren’t as painful, it must have been the reinforcements done to Red so she could take more weight with less strain on him.

“She’s always wearing sunglasses, our pretty Marshal, so I don’t know if you’ve seen them, but under her eyes—“ Lance made a motion under his eyes with one finger, drawing out little checkmarks. “—She’s got the same marks you do.”

“I’ve seen her without her glasses, but hadn’t noticed those, no,” Keith answered. They both leaned forwards on their knees, and it was strange to Keith to be doing something at the exact same time. For a moment he felt like something passed between them, through the Drift swirling in the back of his head, that said they were compatible—before he focused on it too hard he shut his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Hey, you okay _amigo?”_

“Yeah, just a headache, you know how it is.”

“Ah, still stuck in Red, huh. Nobody believed in that till a couple years ago, yanno? What do they call it, hyper-association or something?” Lance paused for a moment, then said, “Ghost Drift.”

“Ghost Drift… Hey, does the Ghost Drift remain after someone dies?”

“Huh? Can’t say, never lost Hunk and I don’t intend to any time soon,” Lance huffed, passing a glance to Hunk. Directed at his co-pilot, Lance asked, “how’re you doing, big guy?”

“Not so hot,” Hunk grunted, turning a little to face them. “Shoulder’s good but the rest is busted. Might be out of commission for a couple months.”

“A couple—“ Lance leaned in, pulling his chair closer to Hunk so they could speak without Hunk having to turn and strain himself.

“Buddy—what are you gonna do? Stay on base? Go home?”

“I don’t know dude, depends on what Marshal Ulta says. With a broken elbow I don’t know if I can even stay here.”

“But then… Oh man, I can’t Drift without you. Do you think she’s gonna make me find a new co-pilot? You think Pidge’d be up to it?”

“Pidge doesn’t even want to get in a Jaeger unless she’s doing maintenance, and Matt’s too protective to let her go out in any kind of danger,” Hunk gave a little chuckle, “‘Sides, no offense but I don’t think you’re compatible.”

“Ay!” Lance exclaimed, slapping his shoulder, then leaned in and started whispering something in Spanish. Hunk passed a look to Keith and then back to Lance, who turned and looked at him too, and Keith realized that they were doing that wordless conversation thing again. He shrugged. Lance turned to Hunk again and muttered, “shut up.”

Hunk just laughed, and Keith was still lost.

“She might make you her co-pilot,” Hunk told him.

“Little old me? Pretty Marshal Allura Ulta’s co-pilot? Oh, dream come true,” Lance said as he leaned back.

“Is she a good pilot?” Keith asked suddenly. Lance snapped his eyes to Keith again.

“Oh, yeah, she’s crazy good. Apparently her sim-score was 62:62 until her father pulled her out of training to personally jockey with him. He was the previous Marshal of the European Fleet, which is I guess how she got into leading the entire Castle on her own—not like she got a free ride, she’s just experienced, hard-working, that kind of person yanno? But their drop-kill ratio was 8-9.”

“What happened on the last one?”

Lance made the checkmark motion under one of his eyes. The bay was suddenly charged with a tense energy while Keith put two and two together.

After a moment, Keith sucked in a breath and started to say something, when the Marshal’s voice boomed over the speakers.

“Sergeant Kogane, Lance McClain, report to the training grounds in twenty.”

“Guess we’re finding out who your new co-pilot’s gonna be,” Hunk said, and though he tried to make it sound joking Keith could clearly hear the hurt in his voice. While Keith started gathering up his discarded drivesuit, Lance didn’t immediately get up. Instead he turned and put a hand on Hunk’s good shoulder.

“Hey, you’ll always be the best. As soon as your arm’s healed up I’m gonna drop whoever she gives me faster than we dropped that cat 3 off the east coast.” They exchanged smiles and fist-bumped each other while Lance stood.

“Don’t give ‘em whiplash!” Hunk called as they left the bay.

* * *

“Good morning,” Ulta greeted them. They had taken the short amount of time given to change back to their usual attire, Lance into his beater and jumper, Keith into his sleeveless shirt tucked into army pants. He wasn’t quite sure if there were washing machines on the base, but he wanted to at least get his suit cleaned before the next attack. 

“Good morning, ma’am,” the two responded, not entirely in sync but close enough that Keith got that weird misty feeling from the Drift again. He ignored it this time, making no move to massage it away.

“Lance, how’s your co-pilot?” She asked, right to the point.

“Broken elbow, ma’am, he can’t pilot Blue with me.” Lance shifted a little on his feet, putting his hands on his hips.

“Then I suppose you’ll need a new partner,” she said. A chill shot through Keith when they looked at her at the same time. He thought about Shiro, about having someone in his head again, and almost physically recoiled at the anxiety and sheer _terror_ that shot through him. He couldn’t pilot with another person, and yeah, he knew Lance was capable, but there was no way they were compatible. Lance rubbed him the wrong way, he didn’t want him in his head, in his memories, he didn’t want to replace what little was left of Shiro—

“Any candidates?” Lance asked, snapping Keith out of his thoughts. He’d almost bit through his lip thinking.

“Your first option is standing right next to you.”

Lance looked at him, Keith looked at Lance, and they both said, “no.”

“No?” Ulta asked, brows shooting up behind her glasses. “What’s the problem?”

“We’re—we’re not compatible, ma’am,” Keith said quickly. Lance looked at him with a strange expression but didn’t say anything more.

“I’ve seen the way you two move, even just the gestures are enough. Usually I’d have you spar but I don’t think I need to. And the way you battled against Daichi today is proof enough. Without even communicating—“

“I was in the right place at the right time, that doesn’t mean—“

“Sergeant Kogane,” Ulta cut him off. She took a step forward into his space and lowered her voice.

“Might I remind you that we’re running out of time, resources, and pilots. If Hunk hadn’t been decommissioned I wouldn’t be asking you to do this. But until Shiro’s cleared for duty, Lance needs a co-pilot, and I think you’re the best option.”

Keith should have bit his tongue, but instead he growled out, “why don’t you just make him your’s then.”

She didn’t hit him, but she might as well have with how sharply she backed up. She hardened and shook her head, chin jutting towards the simulation pod.

“Get in, now. Both of you.”

Lance made a startled noise at the back of his throat and scampered off with a panicked ‘yes ma’am.’ When Keith didn’t move, Ulta lowered her glasses at him.

“Sergeant. Mind your place.”

With a huffed ‘yes ma’am,’ he turned away and followed Lance to the pod.

The good thing about a simulation was that they didn’t need a full drivesuit, only the helmet wired into the pod. It didn’t jerk around or spark nearly as much as a real Jaeger, so many trainees just wore casual clothing within academy regulations. Keith noted that Lance had already strapped in to the right side, probably where he was most used to functioning in Blue, which was fine considering Keith’s limp and the fresh cut at his hip. It had been three years since he’d drifted with another ranger. He couldn’t stop thinking about Shiro.

His mind was racing way too fast as he strapped in. The door of a sim-pod shut behind him, the loud clang of the door and the whir of it powering up snapping him out of his thoughts. There was a new voice counting down from fifteen. Keith just tried to clear his head before it hit one and they Drifted.

Black and white memories flooded his head. None of his were new and he didn’t try to chase them. Lance’s were different though, somehow; while Keith and Shiro’s were always hardened by their fathers and what they’d grown up surrounded by, Lance’s were warm and homey. Keith watched him grow up with his mother and father and three siblings, two older and one younger. He watched Lance’s father and older sister join the military, he watched them come home less and less with more injuries each time, until Lance’s father couldn’t walk and his sister quit with her boyfriend. He watched Lance watch them get married. He watched Lance meet Hunk for the first time, and five other kids that looked like Hunk, displaced by the tragedy that was the Philippines. He watched Lance admire his father and sister and join up with Hunk, watched them train, fight, win, watched a battle Keith didn’t even remember being part of but Nova had saved Bumble in, he watched their last battle when Hunk had been hurt and felt the fresh pain in his shoulder as he was jerked out of the Drift and back into the simulation with Lance.

“Didn’t realize I’d feel it too,” Keith grunted, his shoulder popping wickedly as he rolled it back a couple times.

Lance didn’t respond for a long moment. Keith looked to him and almost panicked when he saw Shiro, but once he blinked it was just Lance standing there, hunched over and gasping, staring at him with such raw emotion on his face that Keith was sure his expression suddenly mirrored.

“I didn’t know…” Lance whispered.

“Don’t,” Keith whispered back. He already knew what Lance wanted to say about Shiro. He couldn’t handle hearing any of it, not this intimately.

“Your sides are calibrated, and the handshake’s holding,” the new voice reported to them. “This is a sim but stay sharp boys. We’ll start off easy with a cat 2.”

Keith and Lance looked up to see an artificially generated coast ahead of them, and a category 2 Kaiju about a mile off. It felt like second nature to start advancing forward and engage it. When they did, it roared at them and swung, so they put an arm up to block the hit. Together they grabbed the Kaiju’s arm and used their free hand to punch it so it staggered off balance. They grabbed it’s neck and lifted it as far out of the water as they could and pulled, ripping it’s arm clean off. A few more punches and the Kaiju went down.

The next few that showed up were relatively similar. Easy cat-2’s that they took down without a problem. The first cat-3 was a little rougher, but the one after that, Keith felt like he was struggling. He didn’t know what was translating through the Drift from him, but Lance felt like he was sluggish. Hesitating. Keith couldn’t spare a glance over in case he saw Shiro getting dragged out again—instead, he jerked the Jaeger’s right arm on his own to attack the Kaiju, slamming it’s head into a rock formation nearby to kill it.

“Hey, don’t hesitate, I know this is only a simulation but—“

“I’m not! I’m out of alignment with you, I can’t feel you in the Drift—“

A Kaiju impacted them from behind, jostling them in the sim-pod. Keith rounded on it, wrenching control away again to block it’s next attack, holding both it’s arms back with both of his. He gave a solid war cry as he shoved it back, positioning his arm as if to charge up a plasma canon when—

The simulation went dead. All the lights came on and the door was slammed open. Keith jerked back as he was pulled out of the Drift. Ripping his helmet off, he turned to him to demand answers but—

His voice stopped in his throat. He was seeing Shiro and Lance at the same time, on the floor being held down by someone, probably the ‘other voice’ if Keith had to guess. Lance was writhing like he was suffering a seizure, his body shaking so hard the person was having a hard time holding him down so he didn’t hit his head on something. Blood was trickling steadily from his nose. One of his eyes was bloodshot. The Marshal was standing over him, looking up at Keith for an explanation he couldn’t give.

* * *

They couldn’t get him to the med bay so two doctors came to him. Keith vacated the area quickly, heading away from the simulation pod and towards the dojo, intending on working on forms to clear his head. He couldn’t quite get the overlapping image of Shiro and Lance out of his head; he knew it was the Drift because Shiro had never had anything like that happen to him, but every time Keith thought about it he just felt worse. He hadn’t even realized that he could _pull out_ of a Drift with someone, let alone that it would affect Lance that badly. 

He wondered what the Marshal had been thinking. It didn’t matter if they were physically compatible or not, that didn’t matter when it came to actually being in a Jaeger. Sure, that was a big part of it, but he’d barely known Lance for all of five days? And hadn’t interacted with him enough to feel compatible at all. Outside of meeting each other, the one drop that morning, and the small conversation in the med bay, Keith hadn’t talked to Lance, hadn’t sparred with Lance, hadn’t _done anything_ with Lance to warrant the Marshal’s choice.

As he got more angry about it, his strikes became less precise, more uncontrolled. He was going faster now, bellowing with every strike. Each echo was covered by the next shout, each swish of the bo followed by another immediately. He remembered training with Shiro. He remembered training with Lance. The Ghost Drift was catching up to him harder than ever and he had to pause, leaning heavily on his bo while he caught his breath.

Someone was standing in the doorway. Keith looked up sharply, startling to see Lance there. His eye was still blood red around the blue, and while his nose had stopped bleeding, there were red drops speckled across the front of his beater. He was breathing heavily, but that didn’t stop him from growling and advancing on Keith to grab his collar. Keith noticed that he was limping too, his hands shaking has he reached up to his collar and gripped his shirt. Lance’s shove was strong, enough to make Keith drop his bo and stumble back.

 _“You fucking jackass!”_ Lance yelled in Spanish, and Keith was surprised to find he understood it. 

“You shut me out. You left me to handle that Jaeger on my own, you know that?”

“You were the one that was lagging behind, I wasn’t about to let that Kaiju take us down—“

“It was a _simulation_ , idiot, there was no way it would have. If you’d just let me realign—no, if you’d just realigned yourself we could have taken it!”

Keith wasn’t one to throw punches first, but he gripped Lance’s hands, digging his thumbs into the pressure points between his thumb and forefinger, and twisted out. Lance yelped and jerked back, ripping his hands free. Keith immediately got into a boxing stance, which Lance matched with his own, one that Keith recognized out of tae kwon do. Lance didn’t bother waiting, moving right in for a sliding kick. Keith hunched low and jabbed at him, aiming for a shot at his ribs that was easily blocked. Lance’s leg came down, but instead of breaking off he dropped immediately to a squat and swept at Keith’s legs with another kick. Keith was toppled and tucked his chin to his chest, landing on his back with a slap to the mat next to him out of habit from training more than anything. While Lance was standing to reset himself, Keith kipped up, getting back into a crouch instantly.

Lance had backed up a bit, and Keith used his lower position to move in again, landing a couple quick jabs to Lance’s core. Lance doubled over, spitting something Keith didn’t want to look at across the mat, but he didn’t stop, standing right back up and shoving Keith’s next jab away from him. He checked with his other hand to keep Keith off and went for a hit of his own, the side of his fist colliding with Keith’s cheek. They went like this for a couple minutes longer, exchanging blows, blocking, striking, repeating, criss-crossing the mat until Keith threw a punch and Lance caught his arm, whirling around and _throwing_ _him_ over his shoulder.

Keith went down hard, making a noise of outrage behind gritted teeth as he gripped his shoulder. As he was getting up, Lance was advancing on him again, coming in fast with another punch ready. Keith got to his knees as best he could and fended off the strike, aiming for a hard shot at Lance’s groin with his elbow. Lance seemed to see it coming and tried to angle himself out so Keith missed, but he still managed to get a shot at Lance’s thigh that staggered him. Keith followed, pulling himself forward across the mat before bracing himself with his hands and kicking out to his side, aiming as high as he could. He felt the kick connect with Lance’s stomach, hearing him stumble back and fall.

He didn’t let him get up. Keith raced over to pin him, struggling against Lance’s longer legs to get around him. He managed to get one arm pinned and a leg over his waist before Lance jabbed him in the neck to free himself. Keith released his arm and Lance grabbed his collar, using his new leverage to roll them over and shove him down with both hands.

And like that, the fight stopped, Lance hovering over him close enough that Keith could see the blood pooling around his iris. His nose was bleeding again, and there was a split in his lip where Keith had got a good shot in. Something in Lance’s eyes flickered, like he forgot where he was for a second, and then he shook his head and head butted Keith.

Keith yelled and rolled to his side as Lance pulled away from him, stumbling back to wipe at his nose. Keith’s entire face was throbbing, and he hopped Lance felt the same where their foreheads had collided.

Keith, switching to Korean, hissed out, _“you’re a piece of shit, McClain, and I hope we never have to drift again.”_

 _“Same, Sergeant,”_ Lance spit the word out, and Keith heard that he wasn’t speaking in Spanish or English, but _Korean._

_“You’re better off solo. This fleet doesn’t need a lone wolf like you.”_

Keith heard Lance exit the dojo. After laying on the floor for another minute, Keith wasn’t sure if he was still stuck in Lance’s head, or if the shaking in his hands was his own.

* * *

“I don’t need to change your bandages yet,” the doctor said when Keith returned to the med bay. He shook his head at her and puffed out a breath. 

“I just need to get this cut cleaned up.”

“Can’t stay out of a fight, even on the base,” she mocked, but still opened the top drawer of her desk to pull out some medical tape and ointment. “Lean down.” 

He did as he was told and let her rub the ointment into the wound, then tack three small pieces of tape over it to pull it together.

“It’s small and should heal up in a couple of days, just don’t pick at the scab,” she said, putting the supplies back. “Also you may wanna buy some concealer at the general store, that bruise is nasty.”

Keith clicked his tongue when he touched his forehead, readjusting his bangs slightly to cover it.

“Better?”

“Better.”

Keith thanked her and waved her off as he left the bay, deciding to head back to his quarters. It had been way too long of a day, and it had barely even passed noon yet, but he already wanted to sleep it off. He crossed the main corridor to the elevator, startling when the doors opened and Shiro stepped out.

Great, as if things couldn’t get any better.

“Oh! Keith!” Shiro gave him a small wave, quickly exiting the elevator and walking up to him.

“Morning,” Keith greeted. He tilted his head a little, hoping that Shiro wouldn’t see any of the damage done.

“I heard you went on a drop today. I’m glad you’re safe! Was it hard?”

“Not really. I had… Good support with me. Blue Bumble, you heard of them?”

“No. They’re not part of the CADF, are they?”

“Stationed here. They’ve been serving for a while.”

“Wow. They must be impressive. Hey, I’m glad I found you, Marshal Ulta said I’m supposed to do my first test-run in an actual Jaeger today.”

Keith’s eyes widened. He tried to fake it as impressed surprise.

“Really? Which one?”

“It’s called Crimson Nova. She was just refurbished, apparently.”

Keith’s blood ran cold. _Oh no._

“That so? Do you know who you’re gonna be piloting with?”

“Not yet. But after PT I’m supposed to suit up and find out.”

“I hope your co-pilot is… Agreeable.” _I hope she doesn’t pick me._

“Me too. Hey, it would be pretty cool if we jockeyed, huh? I don’t think it’s gonna happen but it would be nice to Drift with someone I know a little.”

Keith forced a smile. “Yeah. We’ll see.”

* * *

He was awakened from his nap by an insistent knock on his door that _would not_ shut up. After a solid minute of banging on his door and yelling his name, Keith figured the Marshal had no patience left so he got up and opened it before she busted it down herself. 

“Can I help you, ma’am?”

Katie was standing with Ulta, a clipboard in her hand. She had grease smudges on her face, probably from work she had been doing on the damaged Jaegers earlier, but she didn’t have her goggles or gloves with her.

“Suit up Keith. Shiro’s been cleared to Drift again, not to fight but to run tests at least, and the work on Nova was finished just this morning,” Ulta told him. He squinted, taking a look at the skin under her glasses, finding that Lance had been right about the marks.

“With all due respect Marshal, I think I’m done trying to find co-pilots today,” he sighed, moving to close the door. Her hand was on it instantly, but before she could try and command him into doing something, he spoke again.

“Considering what happened with McClain earlier, I’m not comfortable trying again. Especially not with Shiro.”

“Sergeant—Keith,” Allura started, “I understand your concerns, but I also know you understand mine. Time is of the essence and I _can’t_ lose more pilots. You either pilot with Shiro or pilot with Lance, and there’s no more questions about that.”

 _Why can’t I stick with Red,_ he wanted to ask, or, _why can’t they just pilot with you, or each other?_ But if he asked he wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answers. He wasn’t in the mentality to try and Drift with Shiro, but he didn’t want to deal with anymore arguing or her insistence anymore. Giving a final sigh, he resigned himself to fate and muttered, “give me a minute.”

Ulta nodded and left him alone. He hadn’t gotten his suit washed yet, but dealing with crusty fabric under heavy armor was the least worst thing that happened all day. Once he was changed, he exited his small room and followed Ulta up to the docking bay.

For a brief moment upon seeing Crimson Nova, Keith felt a giddy happiness well in him. With her new paint, black and red with cyan decals like she used to have, she looked like a freshly made Jaeger right out of the factory. She was every bit as gorgeous as the day he’d first seen her. He wondered what Shiro thought.

“Ma’am, a question?” Keith suddenly shot at her as they headed towards the elevator to get to her conn pod.

“Granted.”

“What about Shiro’s memories? He has amnesia of the last six years, what if he can’t cope with being in the Drift with me?”

“I considered that. When I asked the doctor about it she noted that he may not have complete amnesia, and any memories he sees could help his old ones resurface.”

“And if they don’t?”

“Well, Sergeant, that’s just a risk we have to take, hm?” Ulta asked before the elevator doors closed and separated them.

He was suited up quickly and made his way to Nova’s conn pod, finding everything patched up and rebuilt. Though the outside was new, Keith could see the stark difference between the new metal and the old metal in her conn pod, Shiro’s old station fully replaced. The new one had an attachment that looked like a full human arm though, with straps to hold it in place around Shiro’s chest; there was probably a way it linked with him through the Drift when they were fully connected to Nova.

Keith rested a hand on his old station. The memories he had in Nova were so powerful, each one trying to push to the forefront of his mind. The Drift today was going to be hard and rocky, and he didn’t trust himself not to chase the rabbit. Not today.

The clanking of armored boots against a metal floor alerted him to Shiro entering the conn pod. His confident walk hadn’t really changed, but his eyes… That look of starstruck wonder on every new recruit’s face. Keith new it well. He knew he’d made that same expression when they’d entered Nova for the first time together. He and Shiro both. It kind of hurt to be seeing it again, more than once he’d wondered _why did she bring him here?_

When his eyes landed on Keith, he beamed. Keith forced a smile while whatever guard he’d built up to this moment shattered.

“I didn’t think I’d actually be your co-pilot!”

“I wasn’t expecting it either.” Keith cursed his voice for sounding too emotional. Shiro gave him a worried look, but Keith just shook his head and waved him off.

“Don’t worry about it. Have you ever done a simulation with someone else?” He asked as he started helping Shiro strap in.

“Yeah, a couple times before.”

“Then you know the first one’s always tough. I’ll try not to bring anything in. Promise me you won’t chase the rabbit.”

Shiro’s brows furrowed and his mouth pinched. Keith turned away to strap himself in instead, keeping his head as clear as he could. He didn’t want to do this. He wished he had amnesia too, or could just hide all the memories from Shiro— _he shouldn’t be back, he shouldn’t be here, he should be recovering not fighting a war—_

“Engaging drop,” Katie said over the intercom. Keith and Shiro tapped a couple buttons on the control panel in front of them, then the conn pod lurched and they were falling. They jolted a little as they stopped just above the rest of Nova’s body, then resituated themselves as they were eased in and turned around. Shiro engaged forward sight when they were fully turned. Katie started counting down. Keith looked outside and got a clear view of the Marshal, knowing full well that she couldn’t see him but he still shot her a venomous glare anyway.

Just before they entered the Drift, Keith took a moment to just breath and try and clear his head again. He wondered if holding memories back was what had knocked Lance out of alignment, and then he was seeing Shiro seizing on the floor and like that everything was ruined.

Seeing Shiro’s half of the Drift wasn’t new to him, but he only saw the first 21 years of his life, up to joining the academy and starting to train in Japan before Asia created a united fleet and they had met. Keith offered much more, and filled in all the spaces left empty in Shiro’s memories, the three years they’d spent together, the three they’d been apart and Keith thought he was dead.

Emotions translated badly in the Drift when someone chased the rabbit. They felt almost… Amplified by the Jaeger, something terrifying and empowering lurking in the back of Keith’s head that made him feel like he could _fight_ his memories. If he was scared, he could take down what was scaring him. If he was angry, he was overly so, and if he lashed out there was thousands of tons of metal and steel backing any strike he made. It was _dangerous_. He felt himself going out of alignment but couldn’t manage to control it. He didn’t know if he was dragging Shiro or Shiro was dragging him. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to block it out.

When he opened them, everything was silent. He was back in the CADF dojo with Shiro standing across from him. His face kept flipping between a smile and confusion, eventually blurring into just _Shiro._ Keith recognized the memory; it was one of the ones he’d held most dear, a spar right after their first simulation.

They were holding bo’s. Keith’s body moved on it’s own. He moved in with his bo held at his hiplike a sword, while Shiro went for a spin and struck outward. Keith didn’t get more than a few steps in before the bo halted by his shoulder and Shiro grinned.

 _“1-0,”_ he said with a tilt of his head and a grin.

Shiro pulled the bo back, bringing it in front of him in a different stance (kendo). Keith brought his out across his body, and then pointed it down at the mat, his knees bent. He moved in again, blocking Shiro’s strike with his bo and pushing it away from himself. He freed one hand an snaked his arm around the bo to trap it against his body, pushing his own under Shiro’s neck.

 _“1-1,”_ Keith answered with a smirk of his own. Shiro chuckled and they pulled away from each other.

Keith returned to his former stance and Shiro mirrored him. This time Keith spun his bow next to him and caught it across the back of his arm, then turned in a full circle so he had his bo behind him and one hand flat in front. Shiro responded by bringing his bo up and moving it in an infinity, like he was using a full staff, then sharply bringing it up next to his face and jumping forward to jab Keith. Keith stepped away from the strike and swung low for Shiro’s knee, grinning when Shiro barely blocked it and threw him off balance. Keith adjusted quickly and continued to block strikes as Shiro forced him across the mat, waiting for Keith to retaliate before he caught his arm with his free hand and his shoulder with the bo, bringing him down to the floor in an arm bar.

 _“2-1,”_ Shiro said and let him up. Keith didn’t entirely get up, instead rolling onto his side and shrimping out from under Shiro. It was a risky move and he didn’t have much leverage, but he shoved Shiro’s chest with his foot to knock him off balance, then hooked his legs around Shiro’s waist and sat up, pushing down on his collar with his bo to pin him down.

 _“2-2. Don’t get ahead of yourself,”_ Keith answered. Shiro bucked up with his hips and let his bo go, catching Keith under the arms and throwing him off. He was over Keith in an instant with his bo pointed at his face, one leg over his hip to hold him down. 

_“I won’t count that one.”_

Keith laughed at him, taking Shiro’s hand when it was offered to him. The two stood up and righted themselves, continuing to spar until they were drenched in sweat and lost count of the score. It was almost completely wordless but it was one of the best conversations Keith had ever had. But now, watching it again with Shiro in the back of his head, the dialogue changed as the scene slowly faded out and became farther away, more muddled.

_I didn’t know you knew me._

_I didn’t know how to tell you._

_Were we really that close?_

_More than you know. You were…_

Keith felt himself almost physically yanked back into Nova’s conn pod. The readings on her screens were critical, reporting damage to the right hull. His vitals were unstable and the neural link was deteriorating. Keith couldn’t help it. He looked to his right and saw it happen again: the pod buckling under Shredder’s onslaught, claws and metal closing around Shiro, him getting yanked out and thrown. Keith screamed his name and reached out for him, startling when he touched a shoulder but no one was there.

The pod went dim, then lit up again. Voices were buzzing around him and people were rushing in to disconnect him from Nova. He collapsed into someone, letting them guide him to the floor and pull his helmet off. In his blurry vision he could see Shiro being pulled out of his station on the other side, at least this time by _humans_ and not a Kaiju.

When a tear rolled down his cheek, he realized he was crying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One of the things I like to imagine on the base is everyone speaking Spanish but because there's a lot of different dialects, sometimes miscommunications arise accidentally haha But everyone manages to brush it off in the end and a lot of times they turn into inside jokes.


End file.
